Over the Line
By Sonya Collins
Working with a team every day, you learn a lot about your colleagues – their children’s achievements, their vacation plans, their personal hardships. But when you’re in charge of that team, when and how to involve yourself, if at all, in those details can be a balancing act.
Of course you care about others – you’re human. So when an employee goes through a personal crisis, how involved should you get? “You need to know how workers are doing to the extent that it impacts the job,” says Brenda Ellington-Booth, MBA, PhD, a professor of management and organizations at Northwestern University’s Kellogg School of Management. Anything beyond that can put you in a difficult position with your staff and even lead to legal trouble.
First, acting as a friend or confidante to one employee can look like favoritism to the others and can create an unhealthy (workplace) culture. “It sends a signal to everyone else that you have to spill your guts if you want the attention of your boss” Ellington-Booth says.
What’s more, while your employee’s personal difficulties may not affect the job now, if performance slips later, you could be in a tough spot. “On the other hand, you’re this caring, wonderful friend, and then all of a sudden you’re in a position where you might not be able to give them a plum project, or a raise. They may say ‘I thought you were my friend. I thought you had my back’. To blur those lines ultimately hurts the employee,” Ellington-Booth says.
There’s more: Be aware that an employee who is fired or misses out on a raise after sharing personal information with a boss may have grounds for a lawsuit.
As long as workers do their job, you shouldn’t probe into their personal crises. If an employee wants to share what’s going on, let him/her know you care, then steer the conversation to your and the company’s role. You can also ask how you can help manage his/her workload during this difficult time.
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